|
Twenty percent of adults in the US currently has an incurable sexually transmitted disease. Two studies, one published in The American Journal of Health Behavior and another out of the University of Birmingham, Alabama are blaming it on user error.
It may sound simple but the art of condom application takes practice. It is *not* something you can master with an audience. This is a skill you want to have mastered *before* the audience participation begins.
Start with size. Typical condom, under lab conditions, can expand to a diameter of 18” and a length of 48”. That’s in a lab, sans heat, friction and an over-eager nymph urging you to just hurry it up. The *only* way you’re going to figure out what fits best, feels best, has the least objectionable smell and feel, is to take some time and try out different brands, styles, and materials. The amazing accuracy of “you must be this tall to ride this ride safely” only exists in theme parks. This is worth your time. Buy an assortment pack and schedule some alone time. Better fit equals more pleasure and less stress. If slippage is an issue, consider trying the Beyond 7 (thin latex with a slim fit), Lifestyle Snugger (slim fit), or the Exotica Snugger (exceptionally tailored fit), or the Mentor which has a mildly adhesive area at the base.
Check the expiration or manufacturing dates. If they’re past the experation date, or four years beyond the manufacturing date, toss them, they are not reliable. Store them intelligently. Glove boxes and wallets get too hot and age them prematurely. Purses are full of nasty sharp thing to make tiny holes; holes in either the package or the product will degrade the quality of the material. Use your judgment. Slipping a condom inside your wallet and using it that evening will not do any damage.
Condoms can not work to their optimum if not applied correctly. So, learn how to do it right. Don’t open packages with your teeth or scissors. That little serrated edge is there for a reason. Note which direction the condom unrolls in, unnecessary fumbling puts the condom at higher risk of being damaged. *always* use a condom that has a reservoir tip, doesn’t matter if the plan is to prevent pregnancy or the transfer of potentially infectious material, that is where the payload will end up, so, plan accordingly. While applying, hold the tip between your fingers and unroll with your other hand. Stick with the two handed method until your 100% sure all is going as per manufacturer instructions with regularity. The only person I’ve met so far skilled at applying condoms orally was a professional. Unless you’re willing to make the commitment to multiple practice sessions per day in a variety of settings, this is really only practical for winning prizes at drunken bridal showers. Uncircumcised gentlemen will need to gently pull back on the foreskin before applying for optimal results.
To increase sensitivity, apply one drop of lubricant to the inside the tip of the condom before unrolling it. Don’t go crazy or it’ll come right off at the first hint of friction. Use a lubricant appropriate for the type of material the condom is made of; water-soluble or silicone-based for latex, oil based lubes are only safe with nitrile and polyurethane are off the beaten path so it’s safest to assume everything is latex. Many lipsticks and lip glosses are oil based and will degrade latex faster than you can say “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea…” so be careful.
Don’t attempt to put on a condom before you have a full erection. You want it to fit properly while you are at your zenith of length and girth, so just don’t put it on before then. Again the best way to learn, try things out alone. Don’t let any air get in between your skin and the condom; bubbles have a thing for breaking, slow down. Roll the condom all the way down, keep a ring of unrolled condom material at the base, (without this ring, the condom has a tendency to “balloon”) and give it a squeeze to help it stay on. Unless the exquisite sensation of hairs being pulled out from their roots at random moments thrills you, trim your pubes.
Apply lubrication to the outside surface, even if it’s a lubricated condom. If you start to feel the condom getting hot, reapply. If you happen to be a Tantra practitioner, meth or ring user, you’re going to need more lube, more often. Of course the exterior lube rules go out the window if the condom is being used for exploration of the oral arts. The Kimono brand of condom has the least smell and taste and is worth a try for this.
To increase the chances that your experience with condoms can be all it can, don’t get in any deeper than you’re covered. When instructions are followed regarding care and application, condoms rarely slip or break.
True to the action/reaction axiom, pay attention to the removal as well. Withdraw before losing your erection completely; hold the base of the condom when pulling out. Tying a knot in the used condom is just good manners. Do not flush used condoms down the toilet, they have a tendency to create clogs. Ideally, once used, they would be wrapped in a tissue and placed in a trash receptacle. No one would ever think of tossing one on the floor beside the bed, never.
I just can’t fathom what the point is of buying condoms then using them incorrectly, thereby maintaining the risk of illness or progeny transmission. The stress that’s created isn’t fun, it isn’t sexy. Men and women are equally at fault. If a woman is going to indulge in activity, she needs to be at least as responsible for assuring correct usage of condoms.
This is nothing compared with polynomials and surviving high school gym. We can totally do this, and do it well.
If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t bother. But c’mon, a 20% infection rate, that’s not reasonable.
Miss M.
Discuss!
|
|
|